*Renaissance Black Woman

I started writing this post Thursday Night after CNN confirmed the news, but I just started being able to bring words to how I was feeling. I couldn't move away from the TV until CNN confirmed. So many other media outlets had already confirmed but I just couldn't come to grips with the fact that he had passed. Part of me fell this dude would be 80 years old still moon walking on top of parked cars. I thought for sure it was a bad dream, and the next day I was going to catch footage of him coming out of some sort of clinic with his usual mask on TMZ.

Michael Jackson got me into sooooo much trouble. My first record was a 45' of Rockin' Robin. I used to play it over and over. As soon as I got to my grandma's house I would rush to the record player and put it on. Thinking I was a big girl, I never asked for help and always tried to do it myself. I got soooo many whoopens for breaking needles. Then there's the permanent scare I have in the center of my forehead is because I was at my grandma's house, being the rambunctious lil Eb that I was, probably around 4 or 5, and twirling around and around. My mom told me to stop because I was going to get dizzy but I kept going faster and faster and faster. Soul Train was on the TV but there was a commercial. As soon as they came back from commercial a MJ song was playing and I tried to stop to start dancing and was so dizzy went head first right into the corner of one of those huge wooden based floor tv. Forehead open and blood everywhere.

The thing I loved most about him was his mystery. He never explained himself or why he was the way he was. Everyone always made their own conclusions about what was going on it Mike's head. The only thing everyone could agree about when it came to Michael was that he was arguably the best entertainer of our time.

We all have our struggles as fans, wanting to know more than we should, and/or feeling we are obligated to know every detail. I too made several jokes, I too fell out of love with the man when he started to change physically, but in no way, shape, form, or color, could I ever deny his music. Here's a bit of a personal journey of my favorite records from each album, how they made me feel, and how I viewed him at that time in my life.

His first solo album. It dropped in 1972 but when I was growing up in the mid 80's I thought that Michael this age and that time. Favorite song off this album hands down was "Rockin' Robin." Like I noted above, I used to play this song over and over and over again. Not knowing that he was in his 20's at this time, I swore up and down MJ was my lil boyfriend. "I wanna be where you are" Is my 2nd fav song from this album. I still blast that record til this day trying to hit those Oooohhhhh high notes.












On his 2nd album Ben of course his remake of "My Girl" was a classic but I also loved "We've got a good thing going." He was such a little charmer. Even listening to this song again now, you know at that time he didn't understand love but it was always so heartfelt.
















Honestly this album I don't even remember it growing up. When I saw it in his discography I immediately went searching for a download link but I do remember the track "Too Young." I don't think I've ever heard any of the other songs on this one. It dropped in 1973.















Another album I had to look up because I didn't remember it growing up.Here's when Michael went from cute lil child star, to funny looking teen sensation. His voice had changed, and years later, this is definitely going to be an album I am going to get to know. Being a teenage in general is a trying time, and just imagine having to go through that in front of the entire world. The entire world seeing your pimples, your flaws and all. I still think he was kinda cute here but if you aren't happy with yourself, it doesn't matter how many adoring fans you have, you will always be empty inside.









On this album is when he really started coming into his own. This is when I was in love with him the most. He was only one nose job in and was chocolate perfection. He was dreamy at this point. It was released in 1979 and I know if I was a teen at that time I would be heavy in groupie mode if Mike had ever touched down in my city. I mean look at him:




I was only 1 years old when MJ released the album and I am proud to have learned the baby bump to this album. Ya'll know what the baby bump is. When babies just learn how to walk and bop up and down, feet planted firmly on the ground to any music that comes on. Its all in the knees for babies and I used to kill it. From what I've been told. This album is CLASSIC. From start to finish there isn't one track that you feel any inkling to skip over. He changed the face of the music video with this project as well. I have 2 copies of this album. The original, and then a couple years ago I went and bought the 25 year Anniversary edition as well.








On this album was when the drastic physical changes really started to happen. At this point though, no one really cared, he was still belting out hits and BAD was another classic album. "The way you make me feel" and "Man in the Mirror" are my fav tracks.














It wasn't until the hits stopped that we started to care that he was turning. Look at the slow progression:

Here we didn't care...


Here we didn't care... we were just like hmmm... Mike looks lighter


















Here we didn't care... we were like hell.. its black its white, yeah yeah yeah



















It wasn't until he turned a color that no one else in America is, Pasty, that we started to care.

















I got side tracked... now back to the music.

I was 10 years old when this album dropped, and I remember every video released vividly. "Remember the Time," "In the Closet," Heal the World," "Black or White," and "Jam." After those it makes me wonder and what point in time did the art of the music video die. MJ pushed the envelope for us to be a lot farther along when it comes to creativity in that department.














The double disc era emerged. Remember when double discs were worth it. Where you enjoyed 85% of the songs. Nowadays you wish artists would combine the couple good songs they put on each double disc into making 1 good album instead of 2 mediocre ones. I couldn't decide if I tried which of the discs I like better. Both have some of my favorite records of all time by MJ.














This was the only album released in my adult life. This is the album when MJ really tried to spread his greatness to up and comers. When you look at the credits of this album you'll see the likes of Brandy, Notorious BIG, Marsha Ambrosius. Although this wasn't my favorite MJ album as a whole, Butterflies is most definitely in my top 25 Greatest MJ songs ever. That sounds crazy to even say, how many artists can make you go that high with favorite songs. Usually its top 10, but with Mike, I definitely couldn't narrow it down to just that. I'm talking about strictly MJ songs too... I haven't even included my favorite Jackson 5 joints.








In addition we all know he released remix albums like Blood On the Dance Floor, as well as too many compilation and greatest hits discs to name, but I always like listen to albums in their original form.


It's more than amazing living steps from Apollo theater during a sad time like this. It keeps your spirits high seeing all the memorabilia sold on the streets, and there were hundreds of people camped outside of Apollo theater the day he died as well as all day yesterday. People of all ages, races, and backgrounds (the way Michael would have wanted it) all dancing and singing together to his songs. Here are a couple pics:



I am so mad that my grandma has no idea where my jacket with all the zippers is and couldn't find a picture either. I am so mad at the things we take for granted as children and throw away when we get a new toy because I had one of these.

There's so much about this man that none of us will never know or understand, but ultimately we have to remember that he was just a man. Even though certain things he did made him seem greater than life, he is still just a man, that does good, that does wrong, that has faults as well as perfections. Even though now the kid has come out and said that MJ never molested him, go HERE if you haven't read the story yet. He was a real life Benjamin Button in my eyes and I choose to remember all the good that he did for humanity, to celebrate the musical blessings he bestowed upon us that I will cherish forever. That dances that some of us years later are still trying to master...

his charisma, his smile, RIP Michael Jackson, you will truly be missed! PS. I'm saddened by the fact that I never had the chance to see him live. Also it was like an undercover dream of mine to be the leading lady in one of his videos. When he was doing it, being a video chick was art, since we all know it has changed dramatically. Either way, in my heart... I will always be ya girl in Thriller.

Ya'll know I wouldn't be myself if I didn't have a little jokey joke.